YU KEXIN [entries|friends|calendar] KEXINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN [ website | Kexin. ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

182 <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> [21 Nov 2009|11:23pm] I am definitely a rock star, I am such a rock star, that I can endure the next two weeks of waiting for one single damn H3 Economics paper, that will be the bane of my existence came tuesday. I detest it but am at the same time reminded of my initial lack of prescience in enjoying the lessons. I'll try to survive, while the rest of the world rejoices around me at least. On to happier things, I have this constantly weird feeling that its Chinese New Year or Christmas already, because I heard the birds chirping. And this is no joke, its not that the birds know its the festive period, or that their yelping theri death cries from entangling and electrocuting light decorations, but that I am distracted enough and calm enough to notice them during times like the festive periods. This is said festive period ( at least not yet), but on a Saturday afternoon when all i can think of is a Mathematics Algebra Dance Parade And Risk Two Yams( IE. M.A.D.P.A.R.T.Y), my mind tends to wander. Anyway just for kicks, I looked out the window, and then died because I breathed up my curtains. I'm kidding. Look at that face profile in the clouds! Under a different exposure. And then the clouds shift, and there's another one. Again under a different exposure. And finally, my favourite wait for it.... cock your head to the right if you can't see it, or dont because: Natural beauty at its best. It's odd how cloud watching can make me feel that much little bit happier. No worries, I will be watching everyday for new cloud formations, perhaps a cow or a sheep ( which is so traditional), or maybe a calculator, a shelve, a unicorn or a rainbow. Oh wait that actually does appear in skies. I'm in a severely bad mood, and am almost comatose from thinking about the next 2 weeks, so I need this insanity. Maybe i should go into photography. ( I HEAR YOUR SNIGGERS!) wave your GC!

181 MEN NOT BOYZ, WERK IT OUT. [18 Nov 2009|07:36pm] [ music | Honeybear-YeahYeahYeahs ] So today was my A level econs paper, I've foreseen many situations regarding my A level papers BUT NOT THIS BAD OK ANYWAY, instead of discussing unimportant things like econs. I thought I should do a farewell to Pride and Prejudice. Having pored over its pages especially those with quotes such as "her breast had formerly harboured", and skipping the more boring blah sometimes, I think I've come to really love the book. Kudos to Miss Lye, absolutely any and every inkling of knowledge ( if any) I have about that book is because of her teaching and scathing remarks about our stupidity which strangley is rather motivating. Anyway, to make sure I dont forget this glorious book, and before all the quotes slowly leak out of my head: OH YEAH TAKE THAT HOMIEZ, I'M DAAANG GOOD LOOKING, HAH ELIZABETH BENNET WITH NO MONEY AND AN UNCLE IN CHEAPSIDE FROM LONGBOURN. I GO SWIMMING AND YOU WEAR A BONNET. Ok that wasnt a quote, but here are the ones I felt were best. " But your family owe me nothing. Much as I respect them, I believe I thought only of you". " Had Elizabeth been able to encounter his eye, she might have seen how well the expression of heartfelt delight, diffused over his face, became him." " Stupid men are the only ones worth knowing after all" " she began now to comprehend that he was exactly the man, who in disposition, and talents would most suit her. It was an union that must have been to the advantage of both" I realize most of the quotes are about Darcy (heck to Elizabeth), and there are lots of other portions that made me laugh that I can no longer remember because Lit was yesterday and that means 5 minutes after the paper, I sit in front of the telly and let the knowledge slowly sink out into a piece of sponge cake before me. So read the book! Oh Yeaaaaaah. Colin Firth has left a legacy behind. Anyway, on the subject of leading, stylish men. If i was 11 years younger, I'm telling you. And as a parting note: Singaporean men are just not cool enough, and Singaporean weather is just not cool enough to allow this is it. Plus, no Chinese man can have that hair. LOOK AT THAT HAIR. More content heavy posts to come considering the humongous breaks between my papers which leave me dying inside. CIAO BELLA. 1 |wave your GC!

180 Mr BomBastik Plastik Elastik [16 Nov 2009|09:11am] [ music | SFA: CARBON DATING ] It's official, i've stayed away from this journal for more than a month, very deja vu of o levels. Reading up the backlot of my friends page has been nice in helping me to procrastinate the preparation for the next two papers. I have no stories to tell due to the lack of A Life, but would generally like to hear from all my Virtual E-Buddy friends who read this thing, as to how they're doing. I do have a few rants to rant about, mainly Taylor Swift and retch worthy Lady Gaga, who really just should be enforced by law to wear pants or at least, or shorts, c'mon. I havent been taking public transport in the past weeks and so no complaints from me about primary school kids, my eldest brother has generally been bathing and keeping his room clean so there are no cockroaches for me to scream about and whine for my second brother to kill. All in all, life's pertty good. I am greeted with constant dilemmas though regarding accounts. I am dying to get a pair of coveted shoes which i have been eyeing for some time, but hell they cost $58USD which isnt thaaat much when you think about, but considering that I am trying my bestest to save money here ( not to mention shippping dammit), I know i should wait for it to go on sale. Any advice? Plus i have to balance out the cost of rap-world domination, and a new guitar. I think its time to start dropping christmas hints. As for now, I think it's important that we remain friends, because when i do rule the rapworld and become Mizz LitigationMitigation, you will want to be my friend, you will want to have a lock of my hair and you will copy my hand signals in various photos to increase your lack of street cred. As such, I think it's good you buy me a John Mayer jacket for Christmas, not that I'm telling you, I'm just saying our friendship hinges on it. Maybe those coveted shoes as well. Any good books to read? 2 |wave your GC!

179 DANGEROUS ANIMALS AH! DANCE LITTLE LIAR! [07 Oct 2009|09:56pm] Ah, sux to prelims lah, i did badly and am disappointed. Econs was miraculous and lit partially so, the rest severely underperforming, got to stop being careless seriously 30 marks for P2!!! Sigh. My marks hurt me, they broke my heart ): UCAS: done and done, it's so weird getting emails from Uni's, like a robot sending you emails. I got the interview and the test, and woe betide if i screw this one up, i swear. Do Not Screw It Up, Bad. Still got to take my LNAT, glad i've decided against the US, I think it was a good decision. I'm entertaining flitting hopes of getting a scholarship, I can't help feeling great disdain towards people who take for granted that they can go anywhere. I can't help feeling that dammit, if you have money then at least don't be so flippant about it. But I guess, life's like that. It shouldnt be though. 2 more months of this 'A' Level Thing, and I'll be done! I have this nagging feeling, (If I'm Lucky) I'm going to be stuck in Singapore even if i do, do well. But then I guess that's a good thing too. Had a really long talk with my mum yesterday while she was sewing, she said I looked miserable, and I was pretty depressed, but looking back. It's pretty stupid to be so weak, I can't believe i felt like vomitting because of one mark, I got to be less of a worry-wart. I can't wait for this year to be over, but at the same time I'm afraid it will end too fast. 2 |wave your GC!

178 (Almost) 2 Tired To Reggae 2Night [30 Sep 2009|11:13pm] [ music | Noah and The Whale- First Day Of Spring ] Prelims ended on monday with the pretty disastrous Econs H3 paper which I think i handled neutrally well, considering how fearful I was of my utter lack of confidence and armed with only minimal knowledge, I realize one of my H3 classmates looks like Harold Lee from Harold and Kumar go to white castle/escape from guantanamo bay, but I don't really converse with them, so I didn't get to tell him that. The past week has been pretty hard, with the end of prelims,I unstick myself from a hellhole of single minded studying and am forced to contemplate the events of the past year, and the next steps to take. The previous is unpleasant, the latter scary for all the wrong reasons. I think I've become rather desentisitized with the idea of friendship, it used to mean alot to me, but not that much anymore. If anything, this year has shown me friends come and go as easily as water sometimes. Before you know it, you've been rendered obsolete, or weird, you've changed somehow, even though you know you havent, and they have. I've come to understand that you can try to hold onto something, but it will flow through your cupped hands. Like gravity, it will take its course. And you stand by watching it, at first just wondering, and then it hits you all of a sudden, you're left with empty hands, and empty arms. This year has truly sucked so far. And I'm not talking about school or A levels, i accepted that as part of what 2009 was going to be about. I wasnt ready to take on this much crap though, and all at once it's a little tough, and it's so much more convenient to wallow in shallow pools of self pity, coming out of those take conviction, which I'll get soon I hope. ( Take out the TNT, I'll defend you, dive straight into angry mouths, you'll defend me too) ALMOST 2 TIRED TO REGGAE 2NIGHT, BUT NOT 4EVER. 10 |wave your GC!

177 Eh, Its Been So Long. [20 Sep 2009|10:01pm] First week of prelims over, second week ( and death and damnation third week), coming up soon. I was thinking about A levels, and I realize I have sort off been working toward this all my life, since primary school, getting into that dreaded EM1, then PSLE then O levels, all to do well for A levels, and all to get to Law School, and all to go to-- I have no idea. Which is just sad to me, working towards something just so i can work harder, I thought I should be doing something more worthwhile, so I kinda got stumped and sat on my chair staring at Hamlet feeling cold and lonely. Plus it smacked me then, that I was going to die one day. Just disappear, and what was I going to leave behind? A MOE-CAM A and O level certificate. Man, life is just empty sometimes you know, priorities seem sadly distorted. Prelims wise, I think I thoroughly screwed it up awful, want to cry, but whats the use. All that studying, to make a mistake during a 3 hour exam, sorta of an utter waste. In other news, applications all done and sent, with full knowledge that I am probably going to be stuck in Singapore the next three years. It makes me feel superbly resentful towards the rich and wealthy, but again I'm resigned to my constraints and can only work to make the best of them. What the hell am i doing with my life? Wasting it away studying? I'm serious here, what have i really done except study. This is either where I "come of age" or descend into a never ending spiral of angst. I prefer the latter it provides more excitement.   2 |wave your GC!

176 I am not supposed to be here, but outlet outlet. [15 Aug 2009|11:33pm] I do not deal well with worry, i worry about worrying, i worry about worst case scenarios, i worry about best case scenarios, i worry about other people's worry, it's part of me to worry. The one thing i dont do, is worry about not being worried, because I know I am worrying. Everyone who talks to me on a regular basis during exam period knows that I worry too much. I must do the following consistently keep my S/I Hist SBQ skills up re read P/P Othello Hamlet and Donne, revise my notes and essays finish globalization and CA notes to finish my econs syllabus, and then practice math practice ( SOMEBODY JUST. JUST. JUST. JUST. SCREAM IN MY FACE ALREADY, or let me shout a little in yours) GP papers UCAS applications ( personal statement kills me, I don't like espousing my own achievements, I like showing rather than talking) H3 ( Mr. Reeves said there was some deadwood in the class, and he at times wondered over why some people were even taking the course. I refuse to believe it is me, even if it was I can work hard to get a merit IF I EVER HAVE THE TIME) I have also been actively trying to get myself to cry, because during o levels i did that quite alot ( Do Not Ask), and it really helps to release tension. But I cannot seem to be able to even jerk out a single tear! What is wrong with me! I havent cried in the longest time, not even when my finger got jammed in the window and turned black last year, CRY ALREADY. If you are stressed out/worried, hit me with a comment. If you are not stressed out/not taking exams, hit me with a comment, and I will then come to physically hit you, gently though. >>:(( 5 |wave your GC!

175 Mellow [04 Aug 2009|11:34pm] MY UTMOST FOR HIS HIGHEST But, I am sad. wave your GC!

173 Masterpiece? [26 Jul 2009|10:17pm] Am I God's Masterpiece? Watched a video just now, which really touched me, pushed me rather, right where it hurt most. I think it's the first time I've cried because of 'religious' reasons. It reminded me of countless episodes in Sunday School, where we were asked to pledge our lives to God, to give up everything to God. The first time I did it i thought I was serious, after a while it became just saying things and not meaning them. After even more time, it became " I'm a second generation christian, I have problems with faith, I can stray God will take me back". It hurt me, to recognize in myself, what kind of horrible sinner I am. I use God's name in vain, I curse, I swear, I lie, I steal ( not material things), I covet, I am selfish. I want to be in control of everything. I cannot let God take over. I blend in with society, doing all the things i know are wrong, but seem to be justified because everybody is doing them. Can't God understand? How can God's light shine through me, if it's obscured by a million other things, thouhts that do not belong to him, actions that are far from what he has thought me. I think God made the journey in finding him so dofficult, because he wanted to give us freedom, freedom to find him, to love and fear him on our own, and not by force. He loved us so much, that he would allow us to do that. Sometimes I feel angry when people try to go out of their way to criticize my faith, my belief in something. But i realize that helps nothing. How can I be angry, if i have not even spread the word to them. And even if i have tried, why have i not continued. Out of anger that they are trying so hard to be rude or sacarstic or smart with me? I want to go to university, I want to go to Law School, and then on the side, I'll be a christian. What if God calls me to learn his word, What if God calls me to be a missonary, a pastor, a preacher, a anything for him. Can I give up everything for that? Can You? 1 |wave your GC!

172 I Like The Way It Takes You One And A Half Hours To Order A Sandwich. [19 Jul 2009|02:29pm] Today we learnt about giving in church. I was shocked, upon reflection of how little I give, and how unkind I am.So, i resolved to change. I will start from the smallest things, and hopefully somebody can see God through me. As of now, I've been a poor ambassador of christ, and I'm ashamed. I was thinking about movies recently, and i realize how sad the movie industry is now. Most movies are about nothing, for example, what is transformers suppose to tell us? What meaning is there, besides showing mass audiences that we now have the technology to make a woman as beautiful as Megan Fox, look more slutty. And what does harry potter even mean? There really isnt any 'moral of the story' to it, and it doesnt even provide entertainment in the form of humour. So, why are in the world are we spending on money on these unworthy and unfrutiful movies that teach us absolutely nothing? Watched "When Harry Met Sally" yesterday evening, and titanic yesterday afternoon. It might have been some form of sensory overload, in terms of the smacking hand on the steamy window of the car in titanic, and then Rose spreading out her wingspan and declaring that she was flying, all of which were supposed to have been romantic moments, but were comical to me. On the other hand, Jack drawing her picture, or singing to her, was all very heart-warming to me. I remember watching the movie when i was primary 1, but i dont remember anything about the actual movie, except that at the end, some poor soul goes sliding down the very slanted ship screaming his head off, which i also found very comical. Anyway, when Harry Met Sally, is my all time favourite movie. Along with My Best Friend's Wedding, and I'm sorry to admit, but the ultimate guilty pleasure Mean Girls. It's shameful to admit that all of them are sort of rom-coms, although WHMS is sort of in a different league. But these movies, dont grow old, they have certain things to say to the world. Even mean girls, which is that the geeky math nerd girl, always gets the Greek God football captain even after she falls in a dustbin. Ok no, mean girls is just funny to me. But WHMS has great dialogue, the best I've witnessed in any movie. The timing between Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan is impeccable, and I enjoy it everytime i watch it. I've yet to watch the 'old classics', ie. gone with the wind, and breakfast at tiffany's. But i will do that after A levels. On the other hand i once again endorse the beauty of Sunshine Cleaning, which is showing now. My ultimate favourite scene is when Emily Blunt and that lesbian girl ( she didnt know was lesbian), go 'trestling' ( i think). She stands underneath the train tracks, and let the sparks fly over, screaming to the bottom of the train which itself is wailing past. And while at first, it seems compltely stupid, and her screaming is anger, it soon changes. She gulps for air, and is suffocated, tearing over the loss of her mother, the sparks flying around her in celebration. I nearly cried. Ok i did cry. I teared, that's different. And i don't cry in movies. I think i'm going to spree soon, some things I want to get, and I've been saving up, plus I would like to think I can reward myself after AAABC. Yes? Not really, i should reward myself with more studying and revision, and not being here.   1 |wave your GC!

107 From Like What Totally Like A Million Places Yeah Like Yeah [10 Jul 2009|09:47pm] [ music | GIVE YOU SO MUCH ALREADY BELOW. ] Feeling all-over-the-place so this will be eclectic eclectic. Post-CT-Week, what can i say that anyone hasnt already said, I'm basically drifted through the week thinking that i had the entire week to relish, and now its friday, sadly. Prelims looming like a looming thing. I would say big sigh, but then thats rather idiotic considering i dont write with onomatopoeia (Sp!?) Technically i also don't mark my own entry's spelling mistakes so on to other things. New Music. Now, this list is very very very specially selected, and i mean very specially. I took like an hour to do this ( um, studying UN can wait for a while right). After my Musiczz Experimentzz from a post or two below, i came up with a few tracks that I liked, this meant i endured quite alot of weird and irritating tones for a while, but even that was interesting i guess. So ta da. Best I Can//Rush. Because it starts off pretending to be a normal rock song, and then freakin transforms, into this suckerpuncher, with like a sneaky bass line waving from behind. Awesome is the word. If You Were There, Beware/ Arctic Monkeys Good Girls Go Bad (feat. Leighton Meester)/ Cobra Starship. Angry that this got on the stupid radio, it doesnt deserve to be mainstream. But, it's still good, like 14 year old girl trashy good. Thalamanipulation/ Idle Red. Ok I'm biased when songs use voice clips in them, but this has a sort of martian effect that is hilarious to me, and all bad sci-fi movie mysterious. And then it becomes quite angsty which is a bit irritating, but funny. Slow Life/ Super Furry Animals. I thought my ipod was spoilt when i heard this due to the introduction, but it was just the musik. It's very.very,very, very good weird. Kinda Hypnotic boring, such that you enjoy it. Gucci Loafers ( our first paycheck)/ Super Mash. Bros. They're mash bros all right, the entire album ( all about the scrillions) actually is a whole mash of songs from everywhere its like an album that was meshed out from putting an ipod on shuffle and its pretty entertaining when songs get juxtaposed like that Smash N Grab/ ACDC. What can i say, its ACDC The Youth/ MGMT. Like hearing a movie, sorta. Southern Point/ Grizzly Bear. I think the only track really worth a listen on their new album, was pretty ovverated in the newspaper review. But I like that their tracks haunt you. Duet/ Rachel Yamagate. The Anomaly in this playlist, its one of the most simple serenades, if someone sang this to me, I would literally swoon. Um, ok maybe not. But still. Beautiful. To do this playlist the right way, you must find the music yourself and then listen and hate it ( i know you will), and then let it sit in your music folder for a while and let it pop up and surprise you again. If you like it on the first listen, after listening to all 10 tracks, then you should listen to 2 Backstreet Boys songs after that so you return to shallow, joyous normality, as you descend from a puffball of awesome Experimentzzz. Went back to AMK 646 on Tuesday. Kids were great, met some new older ones and taught them math. Didnt get to see my two boys, they got caught up in a gang fight. ): And, i saw this in my photobucket folder while browsing, and realized I uploaded it after The Real Inspector Hound, and never got around to writing that Post-Production-Post. Anyway, just for the rerambrance sake. Going to sleep, hopefully i get around the UN-ing tomorrow morning before EDB. 6 |wave your GC!

106 AMK 646 [05 Jul 2009|09:32pm] CT's ended, and then I headed off for CIP camp with Ros, for kids. I didnt know what to expect from it, i went there thinking i needed the CIP hours. But honestly, that pales in comparison to what i really learnt from this entire camp. The games and facilities were simple and falling apart, but that didnt stop them from having so much fun. And that wasnt even what was important. When I first talked to Mr. Gansta ( he wants to be a gangster), he told me " FUCB", while grinning as if it was the most polite thing he ever said. There was also Emo Kid, CJ7 Kid, Pay It Forward Boy, That Girl Who looked like someone i went to ballet class with, all of whom changed my life i think. I dont, or rather didnt use to like kids, but this group of kids are different. They taught me not how underpriveleged they were, but how blessed I am, and that it's ok to just let go sometimes, and that it's ok to sit in a Little Tykes Car, and get pushed around at top speed by 4 of your brudders, even if your facilitators already told you not to do so on the tamac. So, Yes, she's 12 and she's already had 4 boyfriends previously ( all at the same camp btw), he's 10 and he has a tongue ring, he's the same age as him but he looks younger, small and weaker even though they're twins, and he got punched in the eye, and they're all under 14 but they cuss like sailors, and act like they're 22 already, but they're still ultimately kids at heart. I guess i was mainly pretty scared of kids because I'd kinda betrayed them by becoming what I am now. But anyway, I was reminded to be a kid ( and defintely acted like one for the past 3 days), and fit in perfectly. No one excluded me, and no one cared that i was Chinese ( ok yes they were all Malay and took every opportunity to jack me but anw)-- Argh I really am pretty loss for words, lets just say the last time i went for a CIP Kids Camp it was in Sec 4, and i think i learnt nothing from that because i didnt take the effort to get to know the kids properly, on the last day i went home thinking" finally, I'm home". This time, i left the camp at 6 and havent stopped thinking about the kids since. And was filled with immense sadness that something might happen to them and i might never know, and they may turn 'bad' and i might never be able to help, and that they would forget me. Will go back soon hopefully, I hope they're fine. I know it's so cliched, but kids like these, you dont get the privelege to learn from them all the time y'know. Anyway, sleep and then photos and then I'm going to find a way to visit them at 646 again. Maybe next year I'll do this all over again. 2 |wave your GC!

105 Biurette, Pippette, Squeeze Squeeze Experimentzz. [02 Jul 2009|12:14am] Today was quite awesome, went to study with 1C buds, for the first time, we actually managed to plan a proper meeting, and managed to study. I was so surprised about the level of productivity i managed, in the freakin' cold cafe, but usually i dont get this level of productivity ( which was even better than when i study alone at home) when i study with others, but studying with them was damn good, to drill in those much needed facts, and sort out some of the elusive arguements, and stave away from spreeing for a period of time, it was well worth leaving the dungeon, which I'm often reluctant to do. Before i left for the 6 hours of hardcore ass-freezin, did some musical chairs with my itunes, I'm getting so weirded out by music nowadays, I dont really know what I'm looking for, I'm quite ofen irritated now by the shouting and angsty lyrics by certain songs, which made me, how shall i say this 'head thump!?;' previously, and technical wise their still just as 'head thumping' material, but other than they don't go very far. Been veering less towards typical melodius lays ( OMG HAMLET), and less towards alot of notes, but more simple, lifting tunes, haunting tunes even, those are the best. ( Southern point). Got about ten new albums to listen through after the CT2 ( tomorrow!) and I'll come back and report on how my experimentzz went. But anyway, after all the hype about Grizzly Bear, in ST and ITunes, it really wasn't that great, the first few tracks were downright awesome, caught me right where i fell, but the rest, are a little trying-too-hard for me. Camera Obscura still serves any weather, JM is saved for lonely bus rides and falling asleep, AHK on sunny days, MGMT when walking around, Black Kids when rushing around, Clapton when pensieve, Emmanuel when jumpy, and Super Mash Bros (new find! pretty good so far), when-ever. Tomorrow is history, for the first time i feel more confident for SHIST than for IHIST, kill me lah if IPC and C/J come out, then I'm totally screwed over twice. If RF/WTO/GATT/WB/IMF come out, my predictions came through and i'll scrape a  B. If AIC/problems/growth come out I'm going to wing it, smoke it and skerdaddle it. Musizc and then sleep. Tomorrow, wake up at 11, go to school, history, and then musicz (: 1 |wave your GC!

104 Exam Fever, Literally? [30 Jun 2009|11:13pm] [ music | AC/DC ] I really am quite werided out by this set of CT2 Exams that i am taking. It has confirmed a few things with me, one that i need to study harder and alot more thoroughly. Two, i need to figure out how to improve my handwriting, and three I kinda like going back to school. So i may be a huge dweeb, or a magnificent nerd, but i really did miss school and seeing friends alot ( in italics I'm too lazy to press the button), But being at home is quite stifiling, suffocating, irritating, infuriating, and other suitable adjectives I can't think of now. So far the papers have also left me feeling completely at a loss as to what my marks will be, which seriously does matter. GP?!?!?! Econs!?!?!?! ( hopefully a B at least pleasepleaseplease), Math? ( not an A, hopefully a high B), Lit!?!?!?!?!?!?! ( i think i can get a  B this time, but at the same time i got carried away for both essays as usual nearing my third page, which always degrades me literally to a high C), Whatever it is, i hope i dont get a single C, i really just want to get away from that and go on to the grades i should be getting for A levels. But with econs/lit/math i really have no idea. Learning more about the future, which is scary, options getting more and more limited and so is hope. Plus certain more discouraging opinions, which just make me mad sometimes. Catching up on HIMYM, Boston Legal, Dexter (S3), and DS3 is so WEIRD for me, i dont get it at all, it completley goes against my previous perception of his character it's so weird. HIMYM is like a comfort food, or a baby blanket. And BL is just freaking awesome fantastic. History on thursday, hopefully i get my facts drilled in by the end of tomorrow, my memory fails me when i need it the most always. Plus, I'm quite paranoid I'm going to get h1n1 or something, or someone i know is going to get it.   2 |wave your GC!

193 Free Fallin ( Daze In Camo) , Good love Is On The way ( I'll Be Ok) [19 Jun 2009|11:04pm] [ music | John Mayer Trio- Everyday ( NOWNOWNOW) I Get The Blues ] Alot calmer than previously, I have switched to the softer more patient HP latop that doesnt underline every single word i type in microsoft, helps me auto correct my bullets and aligns my bullet points to margin so nicely, unlike the cunning, monster of an Acer which nearly made me go insane, stabbing each key with vehemence trying to type out history notes. On The Acer, I did RF(I) and Indo-Pakistani Conflict, which i thought i could run away from, but in the end not. Today, on The HP, i did China, GATT, IMF, WB, WTO, Japan, Growth and Problems under IE. So finally, i have my complete set of re-typed notes for IE and conflict and cooperation from the very huge pile of notes, i have distilled the pertinent things and reorganized the facts thank goodness. Now i actually need to remember them and do outlines. I have no time at all, one week left and syllabus cannot be finished, but oh well. Yesterday, I had such a good time. I was so stressed out, but the usual dose of friendship, joking and jumpshots made me alot better. I dont think there's any way to really explain how that Peek Nick could have put me in such a good mood, and completely renewed my need to study somehow, revived my brain fo sho'. Thank You Homies! <3 X 10. ( 10,000 is too ambitious and very hyperbolic no?) Looked at universities for an hour this afternoon, very informative, I may consider putting Oxford down instead of cambridge, just can't decide though, i was most impressed by Cambridge's Amateur Drama Society, something i would love to join!  And then i looked at the collegiate system in Cambridge, and got mad looking at pictures of streets. Yes just the streets of cambridge goodness. And then i looked at colleges in oxford, and got quite taken with a few of them, I'm starting to like Oxford more and more, and then looked at Durham by Tsao's reccomendation, and it was pretty cool, I definitely would enjoy going there, looked at their colleges as well very informative and inspriring on the whole. And then i got reminded of the LNAT so i went off. I realize how scared i will be if i actually do go, but at the same opportunities of a lifetime here! I also looked up Kings College and LSE, and didnt really like the city universities, the campus reminded me of SMU, and thats not what I want to go overseas for. I dont think im in the one-track-mind focus yet, still sporadically distracted, hopefully it goes off after mid years, time to get jiggy with it. Made my lips turn inwards and upwards, knew my brain from the moment we started I prefer them black rectangle glasses skimming the milk, or highing the red meat.   DEN DEN DEN, wave your GC!

192 I HEARD YOU ON MY WIRELESS BACK IN 52, LYING AWAKE INTENT ON TUNING IN ON YOU, IF [17 Jun 2009|02:34pm] CUE MINDLESS RANTING. I am in a small corner of my mind called The Brink Of Insanity. It is a very pretty place, full of blooming orchids and tall stemmed roses. Oh It was, because i just trashed the shit out of that place. SO FRUSTRATING. I do not want to talk about my prospects and my future anymore, I do not want people to talk to me about it either, because it is just soo irritating. So, So, So irritating. Is that the only thing that is worth talking about? The dismal future?! No! There are more important things like mindless conversation, childhood anecdotes, celebrity rag, technology rants, or just the making of animal sounds in replacement of unworthy human conersation, or perhaps silence. SILENCE! I'm so frustrated, sick of bloody studying. And I'm not even prepared yet, I'm only 3./4 of the way there and I want to stop now. And i just realized that PSC OMS for law means you dont get called to the bar till the end of your bond period, IE. civil servant for 6-7 years, not lawyer. I think the fault lies in my geographical location, if i was born in UK i wouldnt need a bloody scholarship to go the university of my choice. AND THEN I CAN'T WATCH BACKSTREET BOYS BECAUSE I WILL HAVE TO BUY THOSE STUPID F1 TICKETS AND I REALLY DON'T CARE FOR  CARS OR NOISY VEHICLES IN GENERAL. THIS IS SO DISAPPOINTING. LIFE IS FULL OF DISAPPOINTMENTS.  I need to get out of the house, any advice?   3 |wave your GC!

191 Hello Strangers of Chet Akins [14 Jun 2009|03:45pm] I am so over John Mayer. Back Street Boys Is Coming To Singapore. I have a New Man In Town, his Name is Tommy Emmanuel, Not Tony Ennamel. And This Is What He Does. 2.59 bitchin. I am thinking, stave off the 'lectric, and play with John and maybe a accoustic friend again. 2 |wave your GC!

190 Lay And Say, Try. [24 May 2009|10:19pm] Because i want the tears to not be of regret, but of pain. Because it can come to at least something. Because i dont want to compete against futile opponents, only myself. Because i must try, try again, try harder, cry and try again. I want this so bad, it hurts thinking about it. 2 |wave your GC!

190 [24 May 2009|10:06pm] Stop this nonsense now, i can see the horse in your eyes. The straitjacket in your quirk of your elbow. The illegitamacy in the blink of your stale eye. And I am Sick of it. I would tell you to do whatever you want, but i cannot live, knowing i sent you to somewhere you truly, really belong, and deserve. I am leaving this place you are in, because while you can pretend to like it and stay in it, as if you could, till hell freezes-calms- over. No one can understand you, no matter how someone phrases it crudely, someone tells me in weird pieces of words none of them can. And neither can I. No matter how i try, no matter how sometimes you see my eyes. I am throwing away whatever it was, because i just, no longer give a shit. I cannot, i know you cannot either. Wake up your idea.   wave your GC!

187 Must Work Harder. [15 May 2009|09:44pm] [ music | Love Letter To Japan- The Bird And The Bee ] A disappointing week, set with unpleasant surprises, and disappointment, but I guess it's something you learnt to deal with after some time. Disappointment i mean, you get desensitized to it after sometime. Am sick, horrendously sick, skipped H3 today coudln't take the freezing-and-then-steaming RJ classrooms any longer, went for lunch and went home thinking i was making a good decision in going home and getting sleep. Got caught in torrential rain the moment i stepped off the bus, thought i was smart again by bringing my umbrella. Umbrella was no help, my skirt was drenched, my shoes were drenched, and the SBS bus and yellow freaking comfrot delgro taxi did nothing to help me, by unabashedly spraying a shitload of water on me. Walked home feeling terrible, wanted to sit on road like a pathetic loser, but wanted to get home so bad. Trudged home, was pissed off because i coloured my bag, and my bag now looks like some sublimed pieced of crap ( actually now that i look at it, it's pretty cool). Felt so crappy, did a GP paper, fell into fitful nap, woke up, felt better, revised loci, felt horrible i took 1.5 hoursto do 4 questions my brain was sluggish. Am being commanded by parents to see a doctor tomorrow, the cough that i caught in HK last year, is still persisting till now. I must work harder, did horrendously below expectations in a recent GP test, and that is unaceptable at this stage. Econs test today was horrible as well, which is also unacceptable at this stage, i can no longer blatantly fail my tests, it's vital that i know my stuff. How i studied for O levels i have no idea, but i'm trying to revitalize that movtivation. I need every single second i can get to study, so that i can take breaks as well. I Will NOT Get A Single C ( Or Below) For This Freaking CT's.  Sick of showing lack-lustre results.   1 |wave your GC!

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ] [ go | earlier ]